


The Prejudice and Dysphoria That Follows

by Unjustified



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coma, Comatose Dream, Delusions, Dysphoria, Eventual Relationships, Everybody is strangers, Judith doesn't exist, Lori Lives, Michonne is still in a relationship, Multi, Nobody Remembers, Nobody died, Post-Canon, Post-Negan, Rick is Unstable, Rick tries to bring everyone together, Self-Acceptance, Self-Denial, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-14 13:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7174037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unjustified/pseuds/Unjustified
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick Grimes, haunted by a horrible sight, wakes up from a dystopia conjured by his fractured mind, only to find everything he had experienced had not occurred in reality. A disoriented Rick yearns to bring everyone from his comatose dream sequence back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unhinged

Absence, and in its place, dread.  
The crude stench of death embedded into the atmosphere, casting a plague upon faces blurred with intoxicated fog. A pulsation ran through Rick Grimes's line of vision, the image before him wavering and spilling on to the bleached hospital sheets encasing his frail body. Almost as if the sick scene that occurred before him was just a sick puzzle his numb mind crammed together.  
And then, a thin line ripped into jagged formations.  
A thick breath escaped his lips, as his eyes, almost welded shut with time finally opened to the reality before him. The light stung his dilated pupils, turning to avoid the sickening glares of electricity. A movement caused his focus to shift, and a kiddish young nurse opened her lips with a dry gasp. She scurried out of the room, calling for someone his ears didn't care to reach. A female doctor pushed the dull blue curtain aside, the nurse bubbling behind her with a bewildered expression. The doctor cautiously stepped inwards, her eyes carefully kneading the floor until she reached the bedside.  
"Rick Grimes, can you hear me?" She read, pulling out a small device from her pouch, yearning for a response. His lips were far too dry to part, he moved his eyes over slightly, when she pushed a control on her device, shining the blaring light in his eyes, studying the movements with interest.  
"He's got positive vitals, no signs of vegetation." She called quietly to the apprentice, still unsure what to do. This time, a man pushed through the curtains, a receiver in his left hand.  
"Lori Grimes is on line one." He sputtered, waiting for a response from the female doctor. She stored the device in her pocket and turned to the man,  
"Tell her that her husband has gained consciousness, and she's allowed to visit him during visitor hours." She pulled on her stethoscope shortly after, and ran the probe along his pale chest, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction. The man nodded, and left the room, speaking into the receiver as he walked.  
"Ms. Levitt, I'm going to have to ask you to provide lunch for Mr.Grimes, he's extremely malnourished." She spoke while balancing a pencil on her bottom lip, eyes avert from the young nurse.  
She nodded cautiously, her beady eyes switching from the doctor to his skeletal form, "I'll fetch him some water, for now."  
As she stepped from the room the doctor held up her hand, "Small glass, he'll throw up whatever is given in large doses."  
The nurse sighed and nodded, nimbly pacing from the room with a sheepish expression.  
"Carl." He managed to form from the husky syllables escaping his foreign lips. Her eyes shot up from the clipboard, "Excuse me?"  
"Carl, my son." Rick repeated, the yearning in his voice slowly gaining as his eyes whipped to hers wildly. She breathed dryly, and placed a hand on his tinted forehead.  
"Mr.Grimes, I can assure you we're doing the best we can to get hold of your wife and son." Her voice was gentle, cautious not to trigger any newly blossomed buttons formed in his shallow mind.  
"Wife...?" He almost didn't say it at all, it came out as a drawn out breath, but she seemed to have caught it.  
"Yes, your wife, do you remember her? Lori Grimes?" She urged on, the name leaving a foul taste in his mouth, a name he hadn't heard in such a long time. But yet, it called from a distant shore in the back of his mind, the remembrance of her, her death.  
"She's dead." Was all he said, his voice unwavered as his cold eyes constricted hers in an antagonizing silence, she swallowed deeply and averted eye contact.  
"No, Mr.Grimes, your wife is not dead." She spoke, visibly uneased at his strict and certain words. "We spoke with her on the phone not long ago."  
The words coming from her mouth stained his memory, the sickening segments of his mind twitched. He remembers her voice well, talking on the phone with her in nauseating sorrow, her voice threaded of his own doubt, he wanted to scream to the doctor that she was wrong, his wife had died, and she was feeling his past agony. But this seemed too real, far from the events unfolded in his bare mind.  
"My daughter, where is she?" He croaked, eyes motioning around the room searching for signs of the infant's face. He couldn't seem to put a face together in his framework mind, almost like...  
She was never born.  
"I'm sorry, Mr.Grimes, I do not have any knowledge of you having a daughter." She was utterly confused, as if she had been wrong about the stability of his mind. He was a broken frame of his former self in her eyes, though she didn't know him from anything other than his picture in the newspaper. She was expecting too much from the traumatized officer.  
A familiar face peered through the curtain of the small room, she immediately cried out.  
"Rick!" The woman scrawled from her scratchy throat, her eyes visibly puffy with tears streaming down her aged cheeks. His started to feel nauseated at the sight of her face, her uncontrollable smile, her unkept hair.  
Lori.  
She wasn't really there.  
The woman with the face of his wife stood beside the doctor by the bedside, the lower half of her face buried in her hands. Close behind, stood a young boy with the face of his son. Clean, unharmed, not a single sign of distress worn on his skin. His eyes were overwhelmed with emotion, the only difference was the presence of his right eye. Rick didn't say anything, his face paled with all of the chemicals rushing to his head.  
"Mr.Grimes is a little dazed, the medication must have taken affect." She assured them, but her face was cold with uncertainty, she didn't want to alarm them. But Lori's face drew darker by the minutes that passed.  
The perky nurse from before stepped into the room with a tray of various assortments and a small glass of water, she awkwardly criss-crossed past Lori and placed it on the TV tray.  
"Anything else?" She questioned, her dark hazel eyes beamed up to the female doctor, a light flush on her tawny sun-kissed face. Her superior looked down to her and sighed, "That'll be it, you're dismissed. I'll retrieve you when his IVs need to be replaced." A smile spread across the younger's face, as she nodded and scurried off, her bleached hair trailing behind.  
"She's a happy camper." Lori mused, a light smile on her face behind the weakness of her stature.  
"Tell me about it, never stops trying. That's why she's my assistant." The elder doctor charmed, tampering with the machines by his bedside. A long silence passed, the chiming of the machines drawling it further.  
"When will he be able to speak?" She questioned suddenly, her hand hanging loosely beside her son's, who seemed very unnerved. The doctor turned, sighing a bit before letting her arms hang loose.  
"He spoke to me earlier, and I don't want to alarm you, but he was thoroughly convinced you were deceased." She stopped to catch her breath, avoiding her face. "He also mentioned having a daughter, but we have no files of another child in his medical records."  
"We... never had another child, is this normal?" Lori's nose scrunched a bit and her forehead wrinkled, confusion splashed across her aged expression. The doctor sighed, finger and thumb kneading her forehead.  
"Unless he suffered potential memory loss there's no reason for this to occur." She expressed, "He'll be able to walk in weeks time, then we will question him. For now, go home and get some rest Mrs.Grimes, we'll handle it onward." Lori lowered her gaze, down-heartened before speaking quietly, "Can we have a moment, please?" The doctor nodded understandingly, "Let me know when you're finished." She muttered, before parting ways, closing the curtains behind her.  
Lori cradled his face, brushing his hair from his forehead gently. "Hey, can you hear me?" Her voice was like linen in his parched ears, soft and needing. He met her gaze through his foggy vision, and parted his lips slightly, "Yeah." Was all he managed, through his gruff voice, ridden with dehydration and wear. She smiled, tears beading in her eyes as she rested her head on his chest, her hand tightening around Carl's.  
"Thank God." She rasped, hands tightening around the worn hospital sheets covering his form.  
"Thank God." She repeated.  
-  
**Several Weeks Passed**  
-  
"He's walking now, unsteady, but it's progress." The elder doctor cooed, adjusting her reading glasses perched lowly on the bridge of her nose. Lori sighed happily, overwhelmed with the thought of living a normal, undisturbed life again. Carl was sitting in the guest's room, flipping through an issue of comic book he never thought to read. His eyes trailed over the other children in the room and he decided the television would entertain him more. A young blonde girl strolled into the room, cradling a handful of flowers, distracting him from the squealing of the babbling children. She was speaking with an older woman, dark brown hair curled over her shoulders, laughing happily at her words. The accent brushing off their tongues, naturally rural, sisters perhaps? They left the room arm in arm after asking where a room was located.  
Rick sat by a large glass window, his eyes exhaustively trailing over the bustling of the city, cars, electricity, people.  
It was all wrong.  
He chose to believe this was his cruel punishment for not being able to stop Negan, being stuck in the past was the price he paid. A hand nestled itself on the crook of his neck, and he sluggishly turned around to meet the lively eyes of his wife, who he refused to let into his heart, knowing she wasn't really there.  
"Hey." She said dainty, kissing the crown of his head comfortably before taking a seat on the red leather seat beside him. "Feeling okay?"  
"Fine." He said quietly, trying to absorb what of her he could before she misted into vapor before his eyes. She smiled fleetingly, placing her hand over his as she looked through the pane of glass as well.  
"Those things you said, the day you woke. Why?" She was desperate for an answer, but she kept her voice calm, to soothe his newly awakened nerves. He breathed quietly, pupils trailing downwards against the frame of the glass.  
"They were true." Was all that he could say, after all, they were true. This is just a false reality, a utopia he chose to punish himself.  
"I'm not dead, Rick." She laughed, but his face stayed unmoved, so she cut herself short and sighed warily. Before looking up to try and meet his eyes, for an answer.  
"This daughter, you made up, what was she like?" She asked, causing Rick to look down, a bit startled.  
"Made up?" He scoffed, looking through the window a bit more intensely. "Her name is Judith." She tilted her head abruptly, with a confused expression. "Wasn't that the name of Carl's old teacher?" She laughed unsure, trying to see the joke laced in his words.  
"Rick, this is all just a dream you had when you were in the Coma, your memory-- you...you're just putting things together from your past and making them into another world. It's not real." He abruptly stood up, his body wavering from the action, causing him to grab onto the frame of the wall. Lori looked up, visibly startled and awkwardly stood up as well, regretting her words.  
"Rick, I--" She reached for him, but he swerved backwards, his eyes wild.  
"You're not here." He started to walk backwards, not sure where to look.  
"Rick--" She called, alarmed, tears starting to form in her red eyes.  
"You're not here!" He growled, falling backwards and sending medical tools and metal tables into the ground. His head collided with the tile, and his world trembled beneath him.  
"Nurse!"  
-  
**A Month Later**  
-  
"Alright, Mr.Grimes you're ready for dispatch." The doctor that had basically been branded into his mind mused, her smile a bit satisfied to rid of him. Her face still showing the concern it had in the event of his episode a month prior. She had spent hours reassuring Lori this was just a phase, it would pass. It amused him, if only a little.  
"Thanks, for everything." He looked to her with a dip of his head, bright blue eyes accustomed to her presence. She smiled formally, and nodded in response. The apprentice beamed around the corner and came to greet them, "Thank you too." Rick called, and she flushed with a wide grin, her chin nestled into her collar.  
Lori stepped from the guest room, her face was dim, as if she had already mourned the death of her husband. Rick turned to walk towards her, but collided with another's shoulder. A uncomfortable grunt escaped from the receiving end as they recovered from their collision.  
"Sorry, I--" Rick stopped talking as his vision began to blur at the person who stood before him, she smiled widely and helped him up the rest of the way. Her lightly curled brown hair and stunning green eyes flashed in his mind as he swallowed. She was more porcelain, freckles dabbed on her tan skin, noticeably lacking in the powerful presence she held before.  
Maggie.  
"My bad, you okay?" She laughed, the country accent rolling from her tongue like a thick stream. When he didn't respond she looked concerned, so he nodded quickly, "I'm-- yeah." She picked up the handbag she had been holding and nodded, sending him a fleeting grin before turning and disappearing into another corridor. Fast behind, a younger blonde dashed to where she disappeared to, not even sparing him a glance, a pocket watch clutched strongly in her fist. Her eyes gleamed with glee, but quickly darkened once her sister was out of sight.  
Beth.  
It took him a good while before he fully regained his stature after the event that had just unfolded before him, someone he knew well had bumped into him, and dismissed him as if...  
He were a complete stranger.  
"Who was that?" Lori's gritting voice awakened him from his thoughts and he decided it'd be best to ignore her question to avoid breaking down into another episode in the hospital lobby.  
He walked forward and pushed open the doors, the sunlight temporarily expelling his vision. He raised his arm above his eyes against the sun, as he slowly adjusted to the beams of light. The fresh air was relieving, almost overwhelming his emotions to an extent.  
"How long has it been?" He questioned desperately, "Three years." Lori whispered, her eyes trailing downwards at the end. He parted his lips in surprise at the thought, but shut them immediately as they got into the car.  
They drove for a good while, until a crashing sense of nostalgic feelings wept upon him as the house crept into view. Lori stopped the car and smile weakly, putting her hand over his.  
"Welcome home."  
-  
**Weeks Later**  
-  
Of course, Rick was home-bound, like any decent man would've blessed upon him for his tiring service. He had not come any closer to accepting his reality, the faces of the family he had come to know still dance in his dreams, but he cannot recognize a single one. But the faces of Maggie and Beth did not falter, but they did not recognize him at all, almost as if they had never met in any lifetime. Because they hadn't. Rick's mind created a dwelling for the strangers he bypassed on the streets during his time in the force. Maggie and Beth, the daughters of a equine veterinarian not too far deep into town. He had managed to find their father's number and occupation in an old phone book, the name Hershel bitter on his tongue, with the harsh remembrance of the death his mind conjured for the poor man. This information, was just one edge piece to the puzzle he made for himself.  
Rick needed to find these people, who they were, what they do. One part of him yearns to reunite them, but they're all strangers to one another, all different people who met different ways in his trance.  
Different people with different backgrounds, a voice of a once respected leader rang in his head. The voice of Deanna Monroe, likewise.  
Lori had earned a job at a local market in his absense, Carl had begun middle school. Rick hadn't heard back from the Sheriff about his return, assuming the department didn't want to be showered all over the media again for Rick's crude luck.  
He sighed, flipping his car keys into his pocket and exiting the house with a wary glance at the unlocked door before slipping into his car. Igniting the engine he sloppily pulled out of his driveway and headed into town, parking by a general store and slipping a quarter into the parking toll. The streets seemed vacant aside from a few teenagers playing in traffic and people slipping shadily into alleyways farther down.  
A scurry in the streets caught his attention, a worn baby blue car with a company tent on the roof curved abruptly and cut off a rough looking man on a motorcycle, speeding into the depths of town.  
"Watch it, asshole!" He snarled, stopping his bike to toss the cigarette between his lips on to the pavement and crush it with his shabby boot. Rick couldn't see his face from the side, so he quietly tried to get a closer look, but to his dismay the man whipped around and got off his bike in a gruff movement. In that moment, Rick immediately recognized the passerby, right as his collar was yanked up to his chin.  
Daryl.  
"You got a staring problem?" His breath was hot and smelled of condensed rum, but the smell of heavy body odor proved to be the worst.  
Rick shook his head, "No, you wouldn't get it." he raised his chin and eyed the familiar man with unease. Daryl yanked his hand away, swinging his right arm to the side and pointing to the left.  
"Well be on your damn way then." He spat, his eyes narrowed furiously. "And what the hell do you mean, won't get it?" By the minute he seemed to get redder, and redder, sweat pouring down his sun chapped skin.  
Rick didn't know what to say, and glanced over Daryl's shoulder to his bike, small puffs of smoke wheezed out of the exhaust and a small opening on the side of the bike, where the car had chipped it.  
"You know who hit you?" He prompted, and Daryl looked at him like he was speaking a different language, knowingly acknowledging he didn't understand it at all.  
"Yeah, some lowlife driving a pizza delivery wagon." He rasped roughly, clenching his fists a bit too tightly. Rick gaped his lips, knowing well who could be driving so recklessly from the mirage in his mind.  
"See his face?" Wrong question, Daryl pushed him backwards shaking his head.  
"Why is this any of your damn business?" He grunted, eyebrows lowering over his eyes in frustration, "Cop or something?"  
Rick laughed breathlessly, lolling his head to the right, "You're not wrong." His words were nowhere near reassuring, in fact it seemed to provoke him even more. Rick decided it'd be best to be quiet, remembering when they first met the last time.  
"Hey, you." A feminine voice stirred him from his nervous trance, and he peered over to meet a relieving site. Maggie's face was lightly illuminated by the streetlights that had flickered on as the sun began to vanish beyond the horizon, she wore a light smile, brown grocery bags in her arms.  
"Looks like we ran into each other again." She laughed, eyeing the man who stood wordlessly beside Rick, picking at his nails.  
"Yeah, nice to see a familiar face." He caught himself, and his throat suddenly felt dry. Her eyelids lowered slightly, but she seemed to recover quickly.  
"Maggie, you?" She urged, clicking her left heel against the pavement. Eyes switching between the two.  
"Rick, and this is Daryl."  
Dammit.  
The man's eyes shot up in devestating surprise, and Rick suddently felt sick to his stomach. Daryl stumbled backwards a bit and Maggie scrunched her eyebrows at the sight.  
"How'd you know my name?" He hissed, serpent-like intentions in his menacing glare. "You tracking me down?" It looked as if at any moment he would pounce and bury his teeth into the crook of his neck and bleed him dry.  
"Rick?" Maggie asked quietly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?" Rick nodded quickly, grasping the side of his head.  
"I've got a lot on my mind." He rasped, and Daryl was still prowling at him with a bewildered expression. "If I told you why, you wouldn't believe me." He eyed Daryl back with just as much predation as he was receiving.  
"Wait." Maggie cooed, coming to a realization. "You're that cop who got shot, right?" She questioned quickly, trying not to put more onto his already busy mind. Rick nodded, glancing over to her with trust lining his blue orbs.  
"You'll think I'm delusional," he started, "but I knew the both of you." That once sentence took the breath from him, as it traveled into the shimmering night glaring down at the three.  
"You don't know me." Daryl spat furiously, "You don't know shit." Maggie looked at Rick doubtfully, but she didn't move, eyes shifting to Daryl, trying to read the shallow man. "I don't know you, I'm sorry."  
Rick was getting frustrated, and stood to Daryl's level. "Ask me something." The scowl on his face lessening as he finished speaking. "You think you know so much, why don't I just tell you?"  
"What's my last name?" He threw the question at him with a daggered glance, awaiting the man's failure. Rick could see the flames sputter in the man's eyes, he was furious to be undermined, to be read. He was a dusty book crammed in the back of the library, that simply didn't want to be found. But Rick dared to push those barriers, to take his chances in the dust and grime for a good read.  
"Dixon." Rick coughed, looking expectedly at the man. "Your brother's name is Merle." With in the last sentence Daryl fell quiet, and dropped his defenses. His eyes scanned suspiciously at this man, who knew too much. Daryl could tell he was not having other intentions. Rick turned to Maggie blinking slowly, "You have a sister named Beth, a father named Hershel, a husba--" He caught himself again, remembering the relations people shared before had vanished.  
"Husband?" She questioned urgently, her fingers gripping around the bag a little tighter. "I had a husband?" Her eyes scanned his desperately.  
"You had a husband, and an unborn child." He said with an unwavering voice, his eyes lowered to the pavement. He heard her breath shutter, disbelief visible in her tinged eyes. It was so familiar, the same look she held at the farm when the group had first arrived. The urge to run away, the urge to not accept any more people in her life than she had to. But she held her gaze strong, knowing if she dared to lower her defenses, someone would pounce and drain her of every wall she had built, every barrier she had formed. She was the same person, but she was unaware of what she was capable of.  
"It was in this world, where the dead, they started walking. We called them walkers, I met people in this world, but they weren't the same. It must have been the chemicals rushed into my head when I fell into a coma, but it was a dystopia. People in this world died, people who are alive here are dead." He explained admittedly, "The people who knew each other there, are strangers here." He finished, looking towards them. Maggie seemed very doubtful but she held curiosity, Daryl was furious and confused, but he held partial interest. They were hardly aware of the journey the people in their shoes had taken, the risks they had made to become what they were. Every time he looked at this man in front of him, he saw a stranger, with the face of a man he called his brother. He looked at this woman, who wanted to run before Rick could drag her into the depths she did not yearn to explore. She stayed, Rick saw a clueless wanderer, who unknowingly wanted to uncover the truth.  
"So these people you met, we were one of them?" She asked, with a slight laugh in her tone. Rick glared at her and nodded, "My son, Carl, was shot, desperate to save his life we found your farm, your father saved his life." She seemed slightly wondered at this whole different world ordeal, her eyes lighting up a bit each time he spoke. He saw the corners of her lips twitch at the mention of her farm.  
"When did I meet my husband? Was he already there?" She questioned, seeming to have someone in mind to be her husband, doubtfully who it was. He took notice to a name lit on her smartphone tucked in a pocket on her short jacket. The text below reading,  
"Hey babe, where are u? Ur late, do u need a ride???"  
Maggie acknowledged it, pulling it up a bit to read it and letting it sag back into her pocket, returning Rick's gaze.  
"He was with my group, when we went to your farm." She dimmed a bit but gaped her lips a bit, "What was his name?" she lowered her voice, eyes averted.  
"Glenn." Rick said bluntly, and Daryl shifted.  
"That's the asshole who chipped my bike, saw the name on a gift-box in the backseat." He scoffed, sending a glance towards the sputtering motorbike. Suddenly remembering Glenn's occupation before the world went to shit. Maggie glanced at the bike in thought and then back to Rick, " So, what, you're trying to bring these strangers from your dream together?" She called, "What're they gonna think when some man comes up to them saying they know everything about them?"  
For the first time since he had woken up, he laughed airily. Hand balanced on his hip, "Well I was expecting it to go something like this." It felt nice to laugh again, knowing it was acceptable because of the world in which he dwelled now. Maggie had a light smile on her face, and her eyes lingered on him for awhile longer, then to Daryl who seemed to be looking at a squirrel twirling around the base of a tree, but he seemed docile.  
"How did it end?" She spoke up, above the crickets loudly chiming in her ears, brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. Rick looked up abruptly, and couldn't seem to find the words to explain.  
"What?" He asked dumbly, his pupils dilating ever so slightly at the gentle press of the moon rise. "The dream, how'd it end?" She repeated gently, her fingers brushing forward motions over the light fuzz of her handbag, curiosity brimming her sight.  
"It was pretty dark, these men called the saviors," he paused to laugh harshly at the name's ironic taste before continuing, "They chased us down in the forest because we killed their men." He swallowed, noticing Daryl finally paying attention with an occasional shift of his jaw and twitch of his eyes. "Their man, Negan, came up and beat one of our men with a bat he called Lucille," he stopped for a moment, letting the memories sink in, "and then I woke up struggling for air in a hospital bed." With the end, Rick looked up to each of them to make sure they hadn't left or lost interest, unexpectedly, they were still there and still held their gazes. He laughed a little, "Yeah, I know that's a lot to take in." He ran his hand over his nose and smirked slightly, taking a step back.  
"Well, I assume you all have things to do, so I'll go ahead and be on my way." Rick nodded, hands on his waist. Maggie smiled hardily, "Here." She paused, reaching into her handbag and pulling out a slip of notebook paper, before taking out a stick of eyeliner and scrawling digits onto the parchment, handing it to him.  
"In case you ever need to talk." She grinned sheepishly, adjusting the strap on her shoulder, "I'll see you around Rick, Daryl." She waved them off before taking off hastily into the dark with her hand raised, beckoning for a taxi.  
Daryl didn't say anything until he reached the end of the sidewalk, turning his head only slightly. His eyes narrowed as if his trust had slipped right at that moment.  
"You can find me anywhere, just call." He croaked, before walking off to the side of his bike and swinging his leg over the side, hardly even sending Rick a parting glance before speeding off into the night's air.  
Rick felt a rush of resolvement rush over him.  
An apologetic baby blue car sat parked by the sidewalk, inside a nervous face sat unsure of what to think of the scene.  
-  
**A Week Passed**  
-  
Life had begun to shift back into normal for Rick Grimes, but that was just the outsider's assumption. Rick had spent the past few days marking names down with a blue crayon for later reference, Lori had occasionally walked in and asked what he had been doing, but he quickly flipped the book to a job search and smiled at her assuringly. In all honestly, a job was the least of Rick's worries, but he knew he'd have to reclaim his position in society somehow. He was planning to become someone with access to the people, an easy route to finding his companions of the past. He had great luck with a phone book, finding names of the fallen quite quickly.  
A thump from outside drew his attention, and he noticed a familiar face on a bicycle tossing a white parchment into his driveway. His hair draped over his eyes made him hard to read, but the natural scowl was obvious.  
Ron.  
He was young, with unkept hair and the obvious need for cash in his gaze. Rick stepped outside, and grasped the newspaper, prying the elastic bond from its surface. Taking a seat back at his work space, he unfolded the paper and began to flip for answers. The front page read of an outbreak of e coli in a local cattle company causing its foreclosure, and next to it a small advertisement for breath mints. He flipped the page, and tilted his head a bit, running his finger under the freshly printed text.  
' Local man Dale Horvath suffering under the hands of BriskyWay Cattle Company '  
It was a continued article from the first page about the outbreak, and a former friend of his unfortunately got dealt a bad hand of cards. The picture below it showed a poorly illustrated picture of an infected cheeseburger, and below it read how to avoid e coli.  
He snorted at the irony of it all.  
Carl paced into the room and studied his father, before leaning against the wall and drawing Rick's attention.  
"Carl?" He called, folding the newspaper back into it's shape and tossing it aside, before looking back at his son.  
"What have you been doing?" He asked, his eyebrows creased slightly as he eyed the open phonebook beside Rick's elbow. Rick cursed himself silently for it. He turned the rotating chair at an angle and leaned forward in the seat, fingers probing his temple.  
"I'm looking for a new job, Carl." He laughed airily, eyes scanning the other's for a chance of exposure. Carl crossed his arms and let his head hang to the left a bit, narrowing his gaze.  
"You've been going out a lot, mom's getting worried." He prompted, and Rick scoffed under his breath, letting his teeth clamp on his bottom lip for only a moment.  
"I've been busy, trying to get caught up with everything." He looked at his son convincingly, trying to see if there was any recognition of his dystopian life in his dark orbs, nothing came back positive. Carl sighed, looking down and closing his eyes.  
"Just.. Don't do anything reckless, okay?" Rick followed his lead and met the ground's empty gaze, before nodding shakily.  
"Yeah, yeah I promise." Carl smiled a little, hardly noticeable before leaning forward and standing at the doorway.  
"Night, dad." He whispered, before exiting the room and frolicking into the depths of the house Rick had come to forgot. Rick smiled sadly, his fingers running thin lines over the newspaper in his grasp,  
"Goodnight Carl."  
It was then a ring sounded from the phone in his jacket pocket, Rick's eyes gazed over to the ear splitting source of the sound before getting to his feet and bringing it to his ear without checking the Caller ID.  
"Hello?" He called, his head shifting to the right to give him a better grip on the device. The phone was silent for awhile, and then the sound of clothes shuffling came into ear's reach.  
"Hey, Rick?" A voice spoke up, slurring ever so slightly at each syllable and followed by a breathy laugh. The clinking of glasses and hardy cries of men gave him the idea.  
"Maggie?" He laughed, hardly being able to see the small girl as a drinker, moreover calling him in her awkward state.  
"I think I'm-" She stopped for a moment, letting the sound buffer the ears of those around her. "Think I'm sitting in front of Glenn at a bar." Maggie's voice was laced with amusement, and Rick followed suit. He laughed heavily, and began to put everything on his desk away while listening to her groggy voice.  
He remembered the time he'd seen Glenn drink, at the CDC back when everything seemed new and exotic to the world they had began to live in, he was a mess, he can hardly imagine what Maggie's witnessing at that moment.  
"I think he was planning to meet a friend here, doesn't seem like they showed up." Maggie chimed, running her finger along the rim of her empty glass as she spoke. Rick could envision it, but he couldn't picture the Glenn he knew well doing it, he imagined the small skiddish boy he met in Atlanta being well capable though.  
"Why don't you keep him company?" He teased, but her line went silent for awhile before she spoke in an unsure voice with a snicker following it.  
"I don't think that would end with a wave goodbye." Rick slowly took in her words meaning and shook his head with a smile, he knew she'd go for it anyway.


	2. Covetous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonds are slowly starting to link, but Rick is not any closer to filling the pit in his chest. Star-crossed lovers meet by fate once more, finding the feeling of absence a blur.

After awhile of talking to Maggie on the phone she eventually muted her line and didn't respond, he assumed she had forgotten to end the call after she supposedly moved tables. So he took the role of ending the call himself, with a dismissive dip of his head and a breathy chuckle following. It felt odd talking on such small matter with someone he considered one of the strongest leaders he knew, but he'd come to appreciate it compared to the havoc wrenched in his mind. It was soothing, at that. Sighing once more, he stripped himself of the uncomfortable attire Lori had picked for him today, and settled next to her sleeping form in the bed. His movements must have startled her, because her shoulders twitched in response to the dipping of the mattress. He laughed quietly to try and brush it off, and brought his voice down to a whisper,  
"Sorry." She turned her head over her shoulder and peered at him for awhile before smiling exhaustively and turning to face him, his breath hitched momentarily before he settled into a comfortable position. She ran her bony fingers over his bare chest and took quiet breaths before raising her voice.  
"Shane stopped by today while you were in town." Her eyes met his instinctively, and she felt his heartbeat falter, if only for moment. He didn't want to believe what his ears had absorbed, didn't want to acknowledge his former best-friend's lack of punishment after his retaliation. So he stayed silent, acted as if he had dozed off into a lazy nerveless sleep, leaving her clueless to what he had wanted to say. Something in her gaze told him their affair was reality, but her gaze was quickly averted. She turned back around, and pushed herself forward a bit, to separate herself from him, he couldn't help but feel malnourished of affection.

  
But that's how he wanted it.

  
-

  
After awhile, Maggie had begun to grow impatient with her status at the bar, the lonely youth yearning for a regretful hookup that she'd yearn to forget after. She wanted to assist Rick however she could, with his whole ordeal, so she had planned to try and dig deeper. She had been drinking a little before overhearing a conversation from across the bar, she peered over her glass to acknowledge their presences. The bartender was leaned over the bar, chin in his hand as he laughed hardily with an Asian youth perched on the bar stool. He had a glass in front of him, but it was noticeably carbonated. She looked back down at her drink for awhile before turning her head for a better reach. Her phone chimed in her pocket and she slowly reached down to bring it into view, her current lover at the time had sent her multiple messages one after the other asking if she'd like to stop by for a drink, but she simply decided it wasn't worth her time. So here she sat, sitting alone at a bar with crooked intentions and her eyes set on someone who wasn't even interested in drinking at all. She turned her phone on silent, before dialing a number she had texted several times prior to the event. Soon after a male voice rang through the phone and she laughed quietly with him, catching the other's attention from across the bar. She turned her eyes towards him and he fumbled for his stability as he shakily tried to resume his conversation with the bartender. Maggie grinned, knowing he was paying attention to her, and not the bartender any longer. Even if he was talking, he wasn't looking at him anymore.  
Unlike him, she was head over heels drunk off her ass, and he could see it in her sultry gaze, but he was the type to mind his own business and let her do as she pleases, once Rick had gone noticeably silent she muted her phone and tossed it into her bag lazily, flashing a drunken grin directed towards the stuttering mess sitting at the adjacent bar table. He did not take it as directed towards him, and seemed to scan around himself for a moment while the bartender would not stop talking for anything. After at least five minutes of the underpaid man ranting continuously about his favorite comic books he eventually sulked off to serve another customer, leaving Glenn vulnerable, and he knew it well.  
It was only when she stood up did he become noticeably uneased, but it didn't stop her from pacing up beside him, and resting her hand on the bar.  
"Seat taken?" She mused, sending an intoxicated glance towards the open leather seat beside him. He was baffled, some would say overwhelmed with what was occurring, he didn't see it going his way.  
"Ahm- no." he spat out in incoherent English averting eye contact all together, he really was a big mess. She plopped down on the seat beside him and called the bartender over, raising her arm and sliding her glass to him, he quickly filled it back and returned the glass to her, not without sending a wide grin at Glenn. She pushed it over towards Glenn and it was almost like he had a bright red target on his chest, he wouldn't move, she couldn't tell if he was breathing either.  
"U-m, I don't drink, sorry?" He laughed after awhile of acting like a paralyzed deer in headlights, she smiled brightly and she almost thought he had gotten up and ran.  
"Just a try?" She offered, resting her hands on the table and occasionally clicking her nails across the wooden frame. After awhile of what seemed like internal debate, he eventually bought the glass to his lips and sputtered a bit afterwards. She laughed with a cheeky grin and he paused from setting it down on the table.  
"So, what's your name?" She conversed, her eyelashes hanging over her eyes as she spoke. He swallowed deeply and sat the drink across from himself, "Glenn, you?" he spoke quietly, as if he was the one afraid she'd run.  
"Maggie." Her voice was becoming more provocative at the time passed on and he was oblivious to it, smiling a bit before leaning over the bar.  
"That's a-, pretty name." He cheesed sheepishly, not sure where to look. She observed the ghost of a presence sitting before her over for awhile, and slowly took over the role of Rick's comatose counterpart of herself. Leaning forward a little with her elbow holding her upwards, she looked him in the eye with obvious intentions.

"Something _like_  that."

  
With that, a small smile spread across her face.

  
-

  
When Rick woke up in the morning, Lori had already gone, her place in the bed longingly vacant. Meaning Carl was in school, and Lori had taken her time to drive to work.  
Another hopeless day for Rick Grimes.  
He ran his hands over his face before lazily moving over to grab his phone idly perched on the nightstand. Not a single notification. He had hoped to see a message from Maggie, who was probably passed out in some hotel room with a dizzy mindset, or even Daryl, which he realized never delivered or received a phone number.  
He always felt alone in this world, for some odd reason. He had his wife and son back in his arms once more, but the family he knew and loved had completely vanished into nothing. Nothing remains except strangers with empty faces.  
He just wanted to go back to sleep without anything to wake up to, of course he wouldn't say he wanted to go back to the world he lived in before, because of the malicious events that had just occurred, but he'd like to see everyone as themselves one last time. Even for just a moment, it would mean the world.  
His phone buzzed in his lap and knocked him from his transfixed line of focus, he prodded the device before awkwardly opening it to find a message sent from Maggie's smartphone. He quickly downloaded it and almost froze in shock, and moreover the familiarity of it.  
Two picture files were received, read the small caption at the bottom, and above it, two images. One was a picture of Maggie grinning from ear to ear with an obviously drunk Glenn, her arm slung around his shoulder hardily while he awkwardly held up a peace sign just below his neck. The second one, was surprisingly not what he was expecting. It was more sentimental, than sexual.  
The picture was a blurry image of a sleeping Glenn, surprisingly still clothed, his arm draped over Maggie's midriff and his head tucked snugly in the juncture of her neck, she was smiling peacefully, her eyes seeming a bit wet from the glare of the lens. The two wouldn't have to flee from potential death at every turn and risk the loss of another, they were just coexisting to breathe in each others scent, without a worry in the world.

  
He couldn't help but smile at the thought.

  
-

  
Hours had passed, and Rick Grimes remained unmoved, he had been researching for the remainder of the day to see if anyone stood out among the long list of names scattered about the telephone book. At almost noon, a knock sounded at the door, and it almost made his coffee clatter to the kitchen floor. He slowly got up after the second knock sounded, and twisted the handle with unease.  
Standing in front of the door were two grinning faces, a click sounded in his mind at the raise of their small voices. Faces too similar to not be together, children with relativity. Their faces flushed from the chill breeze, but neverless their smiles did not falter. He had almost forgotten them completely, as they had vanished with the putrid wind cast by the governor's prison brigade, almost gone, but still there.

  
Lizzie and Mika.

  
Dressed in tight light brown uniforms with badges strung across their chests, they brought out several boxes from their shoulder bags. Each assorted in color and size.  
"Excuse me, sir, would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?" The tallest one recited, stuttering a bit at the end because of Rick's stone gaze. He looked further behind, and his mind stopped. Everything ceased function except his eyes, standing at the end of the driveway was a face so transfixed into his mind, it was almost a sore sight. She grimaced, and worriedly looked towards the girls standing at the doorstep. By the look on her face, she didn't trust the man before her at any cause.  
The youngest of the brunettes looked back to her supervisor petrified, and then right back to Rick, she was utterly terrified.  
"Girls, step away from the house." Her voice rang, and the two girls nodded immediately and scurried from the porch as fast as they could, leaving the woman with a sour expression. She also wore a sash, leading the children as she did prior to his awakening.

  
Carol.

  
He recognized the small innocent face of Sophia, cowering behind Carol's backside, her eyes scanning him worriedly. Behind her the other children stood and watched him silently, some leaning over to their friends to whisper silent nothings into their ears before Carol called them away, not before sending him one last puzzled glance, that lasted a little too long. She had almost convinced him she knew who he was.  
But he knew she was just a very deceptive intelligent woman.  
-  
When Maggie had woke up, she was hit with the reality before her in many unsettling doses. Her head pounded severely, and her vision could hardly manage to focus, the only thing that did register, is that she is in her own bed. Her mind was fuzzy, but she could still remember the ghost of his warmth against hers, his, she couldn't seem to think of his name. She remembers their brief conversation at her door, and then everything was a blur.  
-  
Maggie had eventually gotten heavily intoxicated, while Glenn was borderline sober. He of course took on the role of driving her home, because it was the only thing he could do. He didn't want to see this woman pulled over on the side of the road with no chance of even beginning to mumble her excuse for driving with alcohol basically running through her veins. They had just met, but it didn't change the fact she had come up to him without any idea what type of guy he could've been, or what she had been looking for. When she caught his attention at the bar, he had to almost revise his entire sentence before speaking again, not because she was staring, but because she was unmistakably beautiful. And she had her focus, on him, of all people, he thought. It was almost as if she was just too desperate, and just wanted a bedside partner for a night. But looking at her sleeping form in the passenger seat, he realized she didn't seem like one to do so, even so.  
He had actually managed to get her address out of her before she passed out in a drunken coma without even buckling her seat belt or anything, for that matter. As soon as they came to a stop, he exhaled deeply, before unbuckling his seat belt and exiting the car. He crept to her side, and slowly opened the door, making sure not to disturb her to an extent.  
"Maggie?" He tried, shaking her shoulder lightly to attempt in slowly waking her. Nothing. Her hair fell over her face, making it hard to see if she was actually still asleep.  
"Maggie, we're here." He recited, a little louder, and she finally stirred awake, as flushed as before. She clung to the sleeve of his shirt as she tried to stumble to her feet, and he was quick to help her straighten her posture. Immediately she fell limp, almost like a rag doll in his arms. He felt extremely awkward to be in this position, but he balanced her weight evenly and assisted her as they walked towards her door. She managed to walk up the steps by herself, and fumbled for her keys in her purse, and gingerly opened the door. Stepping in, she turned around and leaned against the door frame. A fleeting smile on her face, "Thank you." Was all she could say, overwhelmed that this stranger had done so much for her in such a short extent of meeting her. He gave her a smile in return and nodded once, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
"Don't mention it." His voice was soft, the vapor of winter's lust breaking way under his breath. She couldn't help herself. He scanned her briefly before turning to leave, her mind flushed, scattered in all directions, as she reached forward and grabbed the back of his sleeve, and pulled him around towards her. She had no restraint. Her lips brushed over his, feather light, as her head fell into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, balling her fists around his back to hold steady. He tensed, looking down at the woman curled around him, her hold almost urgent enough to crumble his brittle bones infected by the cold. She didn't speak for awhile, they just stood there in the doorway of her house, trying to understand the meaning behind each others movements. If he had taken a breath, he would've missed her frail voice break the silent barrier that had fallen over them.

  
_"Don't go.."_

  
The facade she displayed, had fallen.

  
-  
That night, Rick had returned home unfortunately late. As soon as he opened the door, he was well aware something was off track. The air felt deathly cold, like nobody had been inside for months, or even years. The picture frames, malnourished of images with smiling faces, the fireplace longingly abandoned. He began to realize this wasn't his reality. The wooden planks rotting from sitting idly for so many years without the attention of beings, he ran his fingers along the wall, finding folds of chipping wallpaper as they fluttered to the ground as light as moth wings.  
The dust on his fingers long past settled, he was home.

  
This is where he belonged.

  
"Rick?" A voice called out from a distant shore, cupping his cheeks and bringing him back to the water's surface for oxygen. Replenishing him of the bare nothingness he felt for himself prior, these hands aren't affectionate.

  
They're the hands of a blatant _liar_.

  
He opened his eyes to see a worried Lori, standing by his office desk as she lowered his hands from his face, her smile barely reaching her cheeks. He wondered why she had woken him, as if she knew of his consuming dream, for a moment he thought she might have heard him talking in his daze. Her face showed no hint of it, But the figure standing behind her gave him the idea why.

  
Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh! A note for you all, if you want to follow me on any social media I'll leave those below! I plan to update soon, and I have another fic idea that I'm gonna write too. Feel free to talk to me, I don't bite??
> 
> Tumblr >> rheenes  
> Instagram >> alphosis  
> Youtube >> Galactic Spectra

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope you enjoy reading my fanfiction, it's my first for The Walking Dead! I wrote it because I'm in denial because of the finale lmao, let me explain a few things about the fanfiction,  
> • Carl's age is awkward, I know, I would go by Chandler's age, but three years for Carl isn't that long.  
> • Rick / Michonne will not be applied into the fanfiction because I'm not killing off Lori, don't get me wrong, it's nothing against Richonne.  
> • Shane will be applied in later chapters since he's not relevant and disgusting.  
> • The only pairings I'm aware of inputting at the moment are Rick / Lori and Maggie / Glenn but I'll probably add Eric and Aaron later, and maybe Tara and somebody?  
> • Not all characters will meet.  
> • I know everyone in The Walking Dead is from different places, such as Glenn, but I'm putting them all in Atlanta??  
> • Maggie and Rick are rlly chill.


End file.
